Juggling at the Circus

A Juggling Act
I've been spending a lot of time at the hospital with J13 and the family. This means I am missing my A-Cat. It is tough to balance life when one side seems to be crashing down. How do you try to support the broken piece without neglecting the others? I guess you thank God for a wonderful and supportive husband and A-Cat!

I came home from the hospital the other day and A-Cat came running upstairs. "Mommy!" Then she got a very sad look on her face. "I'm sorry your cousin is sick," she said in the most sympathetic way possible. She is such a sweet girl, especially when someone else is hurting. She has always been tuned into others that way, a gift from God I suppose.

My DH has been such a trooper getting meals done for himself and A-Cat, doing the laundry (OK, he always does the laundry!) and just letting me be with my family. There have been times when I could tell he just wanted me to be home, but I think he understands I need to be with my family.


The Circus is in Town
Have you ever noticed how tragedy can bring out the best in people? Is that a survival mechanism? Is the laughter and silliness out of sheer boredom? PJ (another cousin) has "adopted" a a huffy bike that has been sitting at the hospital as long as we have. It is a lovely pinkish orange and teal thing from about 15 years ago. Apparently there is a Youtube.com video out there - if I find it, I'll post it. He and Julie were having cell phone races the other day, only so he could show his phone sucks and he needs a new one. I'm sure Julie kicked his butt with her iPhone.

Sometimes, the silliness feels wrong. J13 is fighting for her life and we're laughing. Trust me, she would want us to laugh, but it just feels strange. I have been told several times in my life to lighten-up. I'm a lot better than before, but it is something I still struggle to overcome. I do believe that laughter helps and my I have tried to be very positive through all of this. In my heart I know she will pull through all of this.

There are some, however, that consumed with all the negative this situation has to offer. I have done my best to avoid conversations with these people. I am, by nature, a pessimist; so if I allow myself to get caught up in the woefulness, I don't think I could get out. I surely wouldn't have the stamina to continue to support J13 and the family with that type of attitude. So I cordially bring up the positive when the worry-warts start up.

I guess a bit of silliness has its place here, as uncomfortable or inappropriate it may seem at times. Laughter has its own pain - your cheeks hurt from big grins, your side aches from the belly laughs, and the emotional uneasiness tugs at your common sense, but no one ever developed an ulcer from laughter. What we have developed is a stronger bond and the knowledge that no matter how far apart we are at times, we are always here when we need each other. I think back to when we were kids and all the fun and laughter we had back then. We've all grown and we've all gotten married and had kids, but the giggling kids inside us seem to come out when we get together; when we need it the most. I want J13 to hear us all laughing when she wakes up. I want her to laugh with us.