I'm not a big shopper. I get light-headed, flushed and clammy whenever I go. I know, I know, I must be missing some chromosome that allows women to shop endlessly. I don't typically do the Black Friday shop-a-thon, but this year, I gave it a try.
I didn't have a three page list of things I wanted. There were only two. The 25th Anniversary Cabbage Patch Doll and a Leapfrog Leapster. Last night I headed to Walmart to do a little recon. You see, Walmart is open 24 hours a day, so I wasn't sure how they would do this 5AM sale thing. I perused the aisles and located an employee. Nonchalantly, I asked, "Hey, how are you guys going to coordinate the sale tomorrow morning, being that you're open all night?" Very nicely, but with a bit of annoyance, he said, "We'll bring the pallets out wrapped in black plastic. We won't unwrap them until 5AM." That was good enough for me; so off I went to get a few hours of sleep before I would have to return to claim my treasure.
This morning, dark and early, I arrived at Walmart fearing I would be too late. I was immediately disappointed when I saw that I would have to choose: the 25th Anniversary Cabbage Patch Doll or the Leapfrog Leapster The Leapfrog Leapster was the better value so I reluctantly said farewell to the babies wrapped in thick black plastic. Once I located the correct pallet, I was pleased to see only about 6 others were there as well. We waited patiently, each planning our strategy to get our Leapfrog Leapster. Pink or green? Top row or bottom row? That guy wants me to grab him one as well - should I be a good fellow shopper or is it save yourself? Pink, bottom and save yourself!
The clock was ticking, the adrenaline was pumping, but we were all doing our best to be patient. Then at about 4:50, some woman pushed her way to the front next to me. She feverishly starts ripping the black plastic apart. The rest of the crowd looks at her and joins in. This is where the mayhem ensued. The crazy woman is now on her hands and knees trying to get the product on the bottom shelf. I get my pink Leapfrog Leapster and then decide to help out the gentleman who asked me to grab him one. I reach down to grab a green one - he gets what he gets and beggars can't be choosers! As I grab it, the crazy woman bites me! That's right, she bites me on the wrist. I look at her in total shock and disgust and without any cooperation from my brain, my left foot quickly stomps down on her hand.
Wounded and humiliated, I hand the green Leapfrog Leapster to the gentleman and make my way to the checkout. I pay the nice lady at the register and head off into the sunrise (OK, it was 2 hours before the sunrise). At 5:05AM, I walk into my cubical at work - an Internet retailer. I have a new-found appreciation for shopping online! I encourage all of you to be safe this holiday season: shop online!
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Bacon Won't Fry Itself!
Really, almost a month since I have posted? Well, I wish I could say it was because I was stranded on an island with a cabana boy, but alas my friends, no such good news, I have merely been super busy! All of this chaos has brought me back to the original reason I started this blog - journaling my attempt to have it all and do it all. I am learning that feat is impossible!
I took on a new position at work. I am now the happy manager of sextuplets. A friend of mine recently told me she is a stay-at-home mom, "the hardest job ever!" Now, first let me say that I, too, was a SAHM for awhile. It was a tough job! (Here comes the big but...) But, a SAHM mom can tell her employees, "Because I said so! " or "Because I'm bigger than you!" or "That's it, you're going to bed without dessert!" or "Santa's watching!" I can't tell my six employees that they're going to the staff meeting without lunch for talking back, or that they need to have a report into my by noon or they can just wait until their father gets home. Granted, no one at work ever yells, "You're the meanest boss ever! I hate you!" or "Tom Michaelson's boss let's him come in 45 minutes late everyday! Why can't I?" OK, the first one happened once, but I digress!
I absolutely agree that being a SAHM is a difficult and rewarding job, and I tip my little kitty ears to those that do, or have done it. (another but is coming...) But, don't look down your noses at those of us who chose a different route. Our jobs are difficult as well, and despite what some may believe, we love our children just as much as you do. We chose to work in corporate America and then come home to cook dinner, help with homework, vacuum the floors, pay the bills and do laundry (OK, my husband does the laundry). We spend ten hours a day in meetings, running reports, dealing with to-do lists 40 miles long, and trying to be a corporate superstar. Then we come home and try to cram the rest of our lives into the few hours that remain in the day. The lady who told us all we could bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan failed to mention a few things: a) My kitchen will never be that clean, b) I'll be going through the mail and countless papers in A-Cat's backpack as I am being splattered with grease, c) Someone will complain because the bacon is too crispy, d) Someone else will complain because the bacon isn't crispy enough, e) Sometimes, there is no bacon - sorry, but it's Burger King tonight.
I think the truth is that we all choose different paths, and really there is no easy path. It isn't easy trying to juggle a full-time job in corporate America and be a mom. It certainly isn't easy to be a mom who stays home with the kids either. My question, is why do women feel the other side is the enemy? Is it a matter of envy? I absolutely have jealous tendencies when it comes to this issue. Maybe, I'm not the only one. Maybe there are others like me who secretly just want to fry the bacon, or a SAHM who secretly wants to bring it home. Regardless of how they spend their days, women are marvelous creatures and I'm sure there is some alien life-form trying to figure out how we do it. And, no matter which side you're on, that bacon ain't gettin' home on its own and it's not going to fry itself!
I took on a new position at work. I am now the happy manager of sextuplets. A friend of mine recently told me she is a stay-at-home mom, "the hardest job ever!" Now, first let me say that I, too, was a SAHM for awhile. It was a tough job! (Here comes the big but...) But, a SAHM mom can tell her employees, "Because I said so! " or "Because I'm bigger than you!" or "That's it, you're going to bed without dessert!" or "Santa's watching!" I can't tell my six employees that they're going to the staff meeting without lunch for talking back, or that they need to have a report into my by noon or they can just wait until their father gets home. Granted, no one at work ever yells, "You're the meanest boss ever! I hate you!" or "Tom Michaelson's boss let's him come in 45 minutes late everyday! Why can't I?" OK, the first one happened once, but I digress!
I absolutely agree that being a SAHM is a difficult and rewarding job, and I tip my little kitty ears to those that do, or have done it. (another but is coming...) But, don't look down your noses at those of us who chose a different route. Our jobs are difficult as well, and despite what some may believe, we love our children just as much as you do. We chose to work in corporate America and then come home to cook dinner, help with homework, vacuum the floors, pay the bills and do laundry (OK, my husband does the laundry). We spend ten hours a day in meetings, running reports, dealing with to-do lists 40 miles long, and trying to be a corporate superstar. Then we come home and try to cram the rest of our lives into the few hours that remain in the day. The lady who told us all we could bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan failed to mention a few things: a) My kitchen will never be that clean, b) I'll be going through the mail and countless papers in A-Cat's backpack as I am being splattered with grease, c) Someone will complain because the bacon is too crispy, d) Someone else will complain because the bacon isn't crispy enough, e) Sometimes, there is no bacon - sorry, but it's Burger King tonight.
I think the truth is that we all choose different paths, and really there is no easy path. It isn't easy trying to juggle a full-time job in corporate America and be a mom. It certainly isn't easy to be a mom who stays home with the kids either. My question, is why do women feel the other side is the enemy? Is it a matter of envy? I absolutely have jealous tendencies when it comes to this issue. Maybe, I'm not the only one. Maybe there are others like me who secretly just want to fry the bacon, or a SAHM who secretly wants to bring it home. Regardless of how they spend their days, women are marvelous creatures and I'm sure there is some alien life-form trying to figure out how we do it. And, no matter which side you're on, that bacon ain't gettin' home on its own and it's not going to fry itself!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Who Would Play You in a Movie About Your Life?
I've heard this question posed before and I always thought it was intriguing. I've never given it much thought, only because there are 5,000 other things to ponder (will House and Cuddy really hook-up after last week's kiss? Is it cheaper to buy the 12-pack or the eight-pack? Can I get by one more week without waxing my eyebrows?)
Last night I could no longer avoid this age-old question. I somehow found myself watching a train wreck called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant on TLC. It's one of those shows where the "real life" person tells the story as they cut to a reenactment portrayed by actors. Aside from the initial reaction (Are you freakin' kidding me? How do you not know you are playing host to an invasive parasite? Bloating only lasts so long!), I found myself bewildered by the actors they chose to portray these people. Some of the actors were very attractive (obviously, the "real lifers" asked to help in the selection), but some of them were down right odd looking. In particular, one woman was portrayed by an oddly shaped red-headed, very short woman. And by short, I mean her feet didn't touch the ground when she sat on the toilet! It was so distracting, I'm not sure I even really remember her story. I just kept wondering what the "real life" lady must have thought about her stand in.
Now, back to the question: Who would play me in a movie about my life? There are so many possibilities. Do I go for someone who resembles me (Angelina Jolie) or someone who I think most accurately represents me and my personality (Carrot Top)? And what if I'm so mentally disturbed, that those people look/think nothing like me? What if they do? Do you see my conundrum?
So I am asking for your suggestions. Who should play me in a movie about me and why? Who would you pick to play you? Trust me, it isn't as easy as you think!
Last night I could no longer avoid this age-old question. I somehow found myself watching a train wreck called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant on TLC. It's one of those shows where the "real life" person tells the story as they cut to a reenactment portrayed by actors. Aside from the initial reaction (Are you freakin' kidding me? How do you not know you are playing host to an invasive parasite? Bloating only lasts so long!), I found myself bewildered by the actors they chose to portray these people. Some of the actors were very attractive (obviously, the "real lifers" asked to help in the selection), but some of them were down right odd looking. In particular, one woman was portrayed by an oddly shaped red-headed, very short woman. And by short, I mean her feet didn't touch the ground when she sat on the toilet! It was so distracting, I'm not sure I even really remember her story. I just kept wondering what the "real life" lady must have thought about her stand in.
Now, back to the question: Who would play me in a movie about my life? There are so many possibilities. Do I go for someone who resembles me (Angelina Jolie) or someone who I think most accurately represents me and my personality (Carrot Top)? And what if I'm so mentally disturbed, that those people look/think nothing like me? What if they do? Do you see my conundrum?
So I am asking for your suggestions. Who should play me in a movie about me and why? Who would you pick to play you? Trust me, it isn't as easy as you think!
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