I'm not a big shopper. I get light-headed, flushed and clammy whenever I go. I know, I know, I must be missing some chromosome that allows women to shop endlessly. I don't typically do the Black Friday shop-a-thon, but this year, I gave it a try.
I didn't have a three page list of things I wanted. There were only two. The 25th Anniversary Cabbage Patch Doll and a Leapfrog Leapster. Last night I headed to Walmart to do a little recon. You see, Walmart is open 24 hours a day, so I wasn't sure how they would do this 5AM sale thing. I perused the aisles and located an employee. Nonchalantly, I asked, "Hey, how are you guys going to coordinate the sale tomorrow morning, being that you're open all night?" Very nicely, but with a bit of annoyance, he said, "We'll bring the pallets out wrapped in black plastic. We won't unwrap them until 5AM." That was good enough for me; so off I went to get a few hours of sleep before I would have to return to claim my treasure.
This morning, dark and early, I arrived at Walmart fearing I would be too late. I was immediately disappointed when I saw that I would have to choose: the 25th Anniversary Cabbage Patch Doll or the Leapfrog Leapster The Leapfrog Leapster was the better value so I reluctantly said farewell to the babies wrapped in thick black plastic. Once I located the correct pallet, I was pleased to see only about 6 others were there as well. We waited patiently, each planning our strategy to get our Leapfrog Leapster. Pink or green? Top row or bottom row? That guy wants me to grab him one as well - should I be a good fellow shopper or is it save yourself? Pink, bottom and save yourself!
The clock was ticking, the adrenaline was pumping, but we were all doing our best to be patient. Then at about 4:50, some woman pushed her way to the front next to me. She feverishly starts ripping the black plastic apart. The rest of the crowd looks at her and joins in. This is where the mayhem ensued. The crazy woman is now on her hands and knees trying to get the product on the bottom shelf. I get my pink Leapfrog Leapster and then decide to help out the gentleman who asked me to grab him one. I reach down to grab a green one - he gets what he gets and beggars can't be choosers! As I grab it, the crazy woman bites me! That's right, she bites me on the wrist. I look at her in total shock and disgust and without any cooperation from my brain, my left foot quickly stomps down on her hand.
Wounded and humiliated, I hand the green Leapfrog Leapster to the gentleman and make my way to the checkout. I pay the nice lady at the register and head off into the sunrise (OK, it was 2 hours before the sunrise). At 5:05AM, I walk into my cubical at work - an Internet retailer. I have a new-found appreciation for shopping online! I encourage all of you to be safe this holiday season: shop online!
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Bacon Won't Fry Itself!
Really, almost a month since I have posted? Well, I wish I could say it was because I was stranded on an island with a cabana boy, but alas my friends, no such good news, I have merely been super busy! All of this chaos has brought me back to the original reason I started this blog - journaling my attempt to have it all and do it all. I am learning that feat is impossible!
I took on a new position at work. I am now the happy manager of sextuplets. A friend of mine recently told me she is a stay-at-home mom, "the hardest job ever!" Now, first let me say that I, too, was a SAHM for awhile. It was a tough job! (Here comes the big but...) But, a SAHM mom can tell her employees, "Because I said so! " or "Because I'm bigger than you!" or "That's it, you're going to bed without dessert!" or "Santa's watching!" I can't tell my six employees that they're going to the staff meeting without lunch for talking back, or that they need to have a report into my by noon or they can just wait until their father gets home. Granted, no one at work ever yells, "You're the meanest boss ever! I hate you!" or "Tom Michaelson's boss let's him come in 45 minutes late everyday! Why can't I?" OK, the first one happened once, but I digress!
I absolutely agree that being a SAHM is a difficult and rewarding job, and I tip my little kitty ears to those that do, or have done it. (another but is coming...) But, don't look down your noses at those of us who chose a different route. Our jobs are difficult as well, and despite what some may believe, we love our children just as much as you do. We chose to work in corporate America and then come home to cook dinner, help with homework, vacuum the floors, pay the bills and do laundry (OK, my husband does the laundry). We spend ten hours a day in meetings, running reports, dealing with to-do lists 40 miles long, and trying to be a corporate superstar. Then we come home and try to cram the rest of our lives into the few hours that remain in the day. The lady who told us all we could bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan failed to mention a few things: a) My kitchen will never be that clean, b) I'll be going through the mail and countless papers in A-Cat's backpack as I am being splattered with grease, c) Someone will complain because the bacon is too crispy, d) Someone else will complain because the bacon isn't crispy enough, e) Sometimes, there is no bacon - sorry, but it's Burger King tonight.
I think the truth is that we all choose different paths, and really there is no easy path. It isn't easy trying to juggle a full-time job in corporate America and be a mom. It certainly isn't easy to be a mom who stays home with the kids either. My question, is why do women feel the other side is the enemy? Is it a matter of envy? I absolutely have jealous tendencies when it comes to this issue. Maybe, I'm not the only one. Maybe there are others like me who secretly just want to fry the bacon, or a SAHM who secretly wants to bring it home. Regardless of how they spend their days, women are marvelous creatures and I'm sure there is some alien life-form trying to figure out how we do it. And, no matter which side you're on, that bacon ain't gettin' home on its own and it's not going to fry itself!
I took on a new position at work. I am now the happy manager of sextuplets. A friend of mine recently told me she is a stay-at-home mom, "the hardest job ever!" Now, first let me say that I, too, was a SAHM for awhile. It was a tough job! (Here comes the big but...) But, a SAHM mom can tell her employees, "Because I said so! " or "Because I'm bigger than you!" or "That's it, you're going to bed without dessert!" or "Santa's watching!" I can't tell my six employees that they're going to the staff meeting without lunch for talking back, or that they need to have a report into my by noon or they can just wait until their father gets home. Granted, no one at work ever yells, "You're the meanest boss ever! I hate you!" or "Tom Michaelson's boss let's him come in 45 minutes late everyday! Why can't I?" OK, the first one happened once, but I digress!
I absolutely agree that being a SAHM is a difficult and rewarding job, and I tip my little kitty ears to those that do, or have done it. (another but is coming...) But, don't look down your noses at those of us who chose a different route. Our jobs are difficult as well, and despite what some may believe, we love our children just as much as you do. We chose to work in corporate America and then come home to cook dinner, help with homework, vacuum the floors, pay the bills and do laundry (OK, my husband does the laundry). We spend ten hours a day in meetings, running reports, dealing with to-do lists 40 miles long, and trying to be a corporate superstar. Then we come home and try to cram the rest of our lives into the few hours that remain in the day. The lady who told us all we could bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan failed to mention a few things: a) My kitchen will never be that clean, b) I'll be going through the mail and countless papers in A-Cat's backpack as I am being splattered with grease, c) Someone will complain because the bacon is too crispy, d) Someone else will complain because the bacon isn't crispy enough, e) Sometimes, there is no bacon - sorry, but it's Burger King tonight.
I think the truth is that we all choose different paths, and really there is no easy path. It isn't easy trying to juggle a full-time job in corporate America and be a mom. It certainly isn't easy to be a mom who stays home with the kids either. My question, is why do women feel the other side is the enemy? Is it a matter of envy? I absolutely have jealous tendencies when it comes to this issue. Maybe, I'm not the only one. Maybe there are others like me who secretly just want to fry the bacon, or a SAHM who secretly wants to bring it home. Regardless of how they spend their days, women are marvelous creatures and I'm sure there is some alien life-form trying to figure out how we do it. And, no matter which side you're on, that bacon ain't gettin' home on its own and it's not going to fry itself!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Who Would Play You in a Movie About Your Life?
I've heard this question posed before and I always thought it was intriguing. I've never given it much thought, only because there are 5,000 other things to ponder (will House and Cuddy really hook-up after last week's kiss? Is it cheaper to buy the 12-pack or the eight-pack? Can I get by one more week without waxing my eyebrows?)
Last night I could no longer avoid this age-old question. I somehow found myself watching a train wreck called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant on TLC. It's one of those shows where the "real life" person tells the story as they cut to a reenactment portrayed by actors. Aside from the initial reaction (Are you freakin' kidding me? How do you not know you are playing host to an invasive parasite? Bloating only lasts so long!), I found myself bewildered by the actors they chose to portray these people. Some of the actors were very attractive (obviously, the "real lifers" asked to help in the selection), but some of them were down right odd looking. In particular, one woman was portrayed by an oddly shaped red-headed, very short woman. And by short, I mean her feet didn't touch the ground when she sat on the toilet! It was so distracting, I'm not sure I even really remember her story. I just kept wondering what the "real life" lady must have thought about her stand in.
Now, back to the question: Who would play me in a movie about my life? There are so many possibilities. Do I go for someone who resembles me (Angelina Jolie) or someone who I think most accurately represents me and my personality (Carrot Top)? And what if I'm so mentally disturbed, that those people look/think nothing like me? What if they do? Do you see my conundrum?
So I am asking for your suggestions. Who should play me in a movie about me and why? Who would you pick to play you? Trust me, it isn't as easy as you think!
Last night I could no longer avoid this age-old question. I somehow found myself watching a train wreck called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant on TLC. It's one of those shows where the "real life" person tells the story as they cut to a reenactment portrayed by actors. Aside from the initial reaction (Are you freakin' kidding me? How do you not know you are playing host to an invasive parasite? Bloating only lasts so long!), I found myself bewildered by the actors they chose to portray these people. Some of the actors were very attractive (obviously, the "real lifers" asked to help in the selection), but some of them were down right odd looking. In particular, one woman was portrayed by an oddly shaped red-headed, very short woman. And by short, I mean her feet didn't touch the ground when she sat on the toilet! It was so distracting, I'm not sure I even really remember her story. I just kept wondering what the "real life" lady must have thought about her stand in.
Now, back to the question: Who would play me in a movie about my life? There are so many possibilities. Do I go for someone who resembles me (Angelina Jolie) or someone who I think most accurately represents me and my personality (Carrot Top)? And what if I'm so mentally disturbed, that those people look/think nothing like me? What if they do? Do you see my conundrum?
So I am asking for your suggestions. Who should play me in a movie about me and why? Who would you pick to play you? Trust me, it isn't as easy as you think!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
When Your Kid is THAT Kid
Remember those blissful days pre-mommyhood or shortly into mommyhood? You know the ones I'm talking about - "My child will never behave that way! My child is an angel. My child knows (will know) right from wrong. My child will read and do long-division at age three while speaking fluent Mandarin and playing four instruments."
Admit it. You've been there. The place where only "bad" children come bad parents. The place where "good" children come from good moms; moms who read to their child en utero, never turned a t.v. on so she could shower or read the mail, never accepted a PB&J as an acceptable breakfast, moms who never put their child to bed without brushing teeth because that was five more minutes, and five more minutes means you miss the beginning of House, m.d..
So how quickly after you had a child did you get snapped out of that world? Some of us lingered in that destination paradise for a few years only to be suddenly thrown onto a row boat and made to paddle ourselves 1400 miles to reality with nothing more than fleeting hopes and dreams for our little prodigies.
We've all heard Mom or Dad say, "I hope you get one just like you." OK, not all of us, in fact I never heard that - why? Because I was the good kid (OK, the less bad kid). What happens when you do get that kid? What happens when you get a kid that the world has never seen before - or at least it feels that way?
You could spend countless hours reading books by the "experts", talking to a counselor about your failing as a mother and your child's failing as "normal 5 year old", and crying yourself to sleep wondering where you went wrong and because, damn it, it just isn't fair! Don't bother. There are too many of us in that club and we aren't recruiting any new members!
Throughout this blog, I have put quotes around the words good and bad when referring to children, but not when referring to parents. Why? There are bad parents and good parents; there are no "good" or "bad" children - good and bad is reflective of choices and until mid to late teens, children do not have the mental capacity to regularly and consistently make good choices. It is our job as parents to let them make choices and learn from the consequences of those choices. If you avoid this crucial, and on-going step as a parent, you are doing a great disservice to your child.
It all comes down to this: There are no "bad" kids, and they don't come from bad parents. We've all seen "bad" kids come from good parents (the catholic school girl who gets knocked up junior year) and "good" kids come from bad parents (the kid who was beaten who becomes a social worker).
I am the mom who heard her darling told the janitor to, "Get a job" and told the teacher, "You're not the boss of me and I don't have to if I don't want to". I'm the mom of a strong-willed, whining, "I want it my way or no way" master-manipulator. I am the mom of the child who has "behavior problems", a child who occasionally wipes poop on my bathroom wall, steals my sunglasses and bracelets, screams when she sees an automatic-flush toilet. I am the mom of a child who laughs like there's a caterpillar in her shirt and makes me laugh until my sides ache. I am the mom of the child who thinks every joke starts with "knock-knock" and ends with "get it?" I am the mom who would throw herself in front of a Mac truck just to get one more "nibble" or smooch from my no-good, rotten child.
So take my advice - you may not be an expert in children, but you are an expert in your child. I will tell you what I have learned:
Never make excuses for them or their behavior. Communicate with their school as often as possible. Discipline them with intent and love. Encourage them to be just who they are. Be patient - they may surprise you. Apologize a lot. Hug a lot, snuggle a lot. Be silly when you can and firm when you have to. And most of all, just Love them.
Admit it. You've been there. The place where only "bad" children come bad parents. The place where "good" children come from good moms; moms who read to their child en utero, never turned a t.v. on so she could shower or read the mail, never accepted a PB&J as an acceptable breakfast, moms who never put their child to bed without brushing teeth because that was five more minutes, and five more minutes means you miss the beginning of House, m.d..
So how quickly after you had a child did you get snapped out of that world? Some of us lingered in that destination paradise for a few years only to be suddenly thrown onto a row boat and made to paddle ourselves 1400 miles to reality with nothing more than fleeting hopes and dreams for our little prodigies.
We've all heard Mom or Dad say, "I hope you get one just like you." OK, not all of us, in fact I never heard that - why? Because I was the good kid (OK, the less bad kid). What happens when you do get that kid? What happens when you get a kid that the world has never seen before - or at least it feels that way?
You could spend countless hours reading books by the "experts", talking to a counselor about your failing as a mother and your child's failing as "normal 5 year old", and crying yourself to sleep wondering where you went wrong and because, damn it, it just isn't fair! Don't bother. There are too many of us in that club and we aren't recruiting any new members!
Throughout this blog, I have put quotes around the words good and bad when referring to children, but not when referring to parents. Why? There are bad parents and good parents; there are no "good" or "bad" children - good and bad is reflective of choices and until mid to late teens, children do not have the mental capacity to regularly and consistently make good choices. It is our job as parents to let them make choices and learn from the consequences of those choices. If you avoid this crucial, and on-going step as a parent, you are doing a great disservice to your child.
It all comes down to this: There are no "bad" kids, and they don't come from bad parents. We've all seen "bad" kids come from good parents (the catholic school girl who gets knocked up junior year) and "good" kids come from bad parents (the kid who was beaten who becomes a social worker).
I am the mom who heard her darling told the janitor to, "Get a job" and told the teacher, "You're not the boss of me and I don't have to if I don't want to". I'm the mom of a strong-willed, whining, "I want it my way or no way" master-manipulator. I am the mom of the child who has "behavior problems", a child who occasionally wipes poop on my bathroom wall, steals my sunglasses and bracelets, screams when she sees an automatic-flush toilet. I am the mom of a child who laughs like there's a caterpillar in her shirt and makes me laugh until my sides ache. I am the mom of the child who thinks every joke starts with "knock-knock" and ends with "get it?" I am the mom who would throw herself in front of a Mac truck just to get one more "nibble" or smooch from my no-good, rotten child.
So take my advice - you may not be an expert in children, but you are an expert in your child. I will tell you what I have learned:
Never make excuses for them or their behavior. Communicate with their school as often as possible. Discipline them with intent and love. Encourage them to be just who they are. Be patient - they may surprise you. Apologize a lot. Hug a lot, snuggle a lot. Be silly when you can and firm when you have to. And most of all, just Love them.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Looking in Both Directions
When is it OK to look ahead? When is it alright to look back? Is it possible to do both? Which approach should consume the majority of our time? Is there a correct answer or do we just hope for the best mixture?
This is something I have been thinking about both in my professional life and my personal life. I'm big on self-improvement (though my plans rarely come to fruition), so I can be a deep thinker every now and again.
There are days I wish I would have made different decisions in my personal life (e.g., finish college, wait to have children, saved more money, etc.). And there are days I do the same in my professional life (e.g., reacted better to bad news, gone for that new job, tooted my own horn, etc.). The problem with "wish I would have" is that I didn't. I made a choice and for better or worse, the consequences remain the same. Does that mean the consequence can't evolve?
I didn't finish college and get a dream job, but that doesn't mean I can't go finish my degree and get my "dream job". I never saved any money, but I can start today. There is no evolution to the consequence of having A-Cat when I was young (and I was 25 for those of you that don't know me - I wasn't an unwed teenage mom, but I hadn't finished college to get a dream job and save money to be financially stable for a child). Momminess does evolve. I become a better mommy everyday (with a few mother-dearest moments scattered in).
I have realized that I am a contradiction in and of myself along with a personality profiler's worst nightmare. I'm not a planner in my personal life, I don't look to the future and make a list (unless a vacation is involved). I am, however, a planner in my professional life - I know what I want and I strategically accomplish it bit by bit.
What I have learned is that even Planners have to look backwards sometimes. What worked before? What fell flat? It's also true that all those fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants folks have to eventually look ahead, if for no other reason than to hope.
I'm OK with my split personality, and I am thankful that the traits fall where they do. I don't know that I would enjoy a planned-out home life nor a whatever-may-come business life. There is no "right answer," only the answer that works best for each of us. So, look ahead to hope and look back to remember!
On the way up to Clark's Tower, Winterset, IA (10/11/08)
On the way back from Clark's Tower headed to a party, Winterset, IA (10/11/08)
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Kids Paying
Ben and Rae giving the Bean Bag Toss a shot
A-Cat and Ben getting physical
The big kids played too...
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