I'm Baaaack!!

Really, March?? I knew it had been a long time since I had posted anything, but that's a bit pathetic. So much has happened since then, I hardly know what to tell you all.

We will start with the biggie: I had a baby. Yep, I did! Donovan (or Van for short) was born September 27th. He has been a ton of fun and very cute, just like his daddy! Adley is a great big sister, and is truly in love with the little guy. I'll get some photos up soon, but until then, check out Adley and I at Disney!

The next bit of news is exciting as well. I have joined a group of great moms and will be contributing every Monday to http://www.momaha.com/. The site is set to launch in a couple of weeks and will be a great place place for moms to get a laugh, get a recipe, a restaurant review. Moms will also share photos of their cutie-patooties and rumor has it we'll have a resident "dad voice" as well, so tell hubby to stop by too (if he's embarrassed to have http://www.momaha.com/ set as a favorite, he can change the name on his computer to "Fantasy Frisbee Golf".)

I also promise to keep up here as well - maybe I can convince my wonderfully handsome and extremely intelligent husband to buy me a new laptop for Christmas.

Until then, be sure to mark http://www.momaha.com/ as a favorite and look for me on Mondays (but visit everyday, the other mamas are pretty awesome too!

Life on Wisteria Lane

I feel a bit like the dead chick on Desperate Housewives when I say, “Things aren’t always what they seem.” Well, they’re not. It took me a long time to figure out what that really means, but as I grow older and reach those points where one should (by society’s standards) have some achievement or acquire some possession, I struggle with having a good understanding of the concept and buying into it. (Was that a really long run-on sentence?)

I remember being newly married with terrible used furniture – you know the left over college crap – and I would go to friends’ apartment and they would have beautiful furniture. Crazy Conclusion: There must be something wrong with me. What a loser I must be to have this crap. I instantly must think of nothing else other than buying “grown-up” furniture. My entire life must be consumed with devising a plan to get real furniture. And here’s what I didn’t know: My friends got their furniture at one of those rent-to-own places – the ones that charge $40 a week for a love seat (or you can buy it for $1200) and after not paying their bill for 6 weeks had everything repossessed.

Then there is the car scenario. I will say this was not precipitated by jealousy, but by necessity. One of our cars blew-up on the interstate 20 miles from the middle of nowhere. It was our old car, so it wasn’t devastating, but we were thrown into shopping for a car without any notice. I wanted a nice car. I’d never had a nice car. Crazy Conclusion: Lots of my friends drive nice cars. Shouldn’t everyone at one point in their life buy a new car – not some used or “pre-owned” car that has had french fries abandoned, burn holes singed and bumpers dented, but a brand-spankin’ new car? “Heck yes they should!” I screamed from the inside (this was me convincing myself to go for the gold.) So we bought the new car. I was thrilled for about one week. And here’s what I didn’t know: I eventually realized that the new car I bought was a station wagon. My friends tried to be nice by calling it a cross-over – but let’s be real, OK. In this new station wagon’s short-46-mile life, it had developed a bad case of the righties and I realized it was burnt orange. So here I was driving a car that screamed, “I wear stirrup pants, competed in Math Bowl in high school and have some muscle control issues.” Oh yea – and several of my friends were paying 12% interest on their nice new car! I should have bought a used Honda sedan – lesson learned.

These are just two examples, but if we think about our everyday life and the people and things that turn us green with envy, we could come up with hundreds more. Doting husbands who gladly give their wives mani-pedis, cook French cuisine and always put the toilet seat down (they’re raging alcoholics who also control their wives’ wardrobe, hairstyle and social life – boy he’s a gem!) The girl at work who can drop anything and go out every weekend, never having to bother with a baby sitter or sick kids (she’s been trying to get pregnant for years and cries every time Aunt Flo comes because once again her dreams have been crushed – a dirty martini just doesn’t look as cute in a new holiday dress.) Your friends who live in the gorgeous new house (they're four months past due on their mortgage and will soon be living in her mom's basement - they're so lucky!)

So let the lesson be learned: We never really know the real circumstances behind others’ lives. Our desire to keep up with Joneses is most often based on false pretenses. Happiness obtained through image and the hope that someone will notice is short lived. Happiness by way of hard work, self-pride and contentment is ever-lasting.

TAG!!!

I’ve finally been tagged! It’s really the same as someone saying, “Hey, you’re cool! Wanna be friends?” Okay, so I was tagged by the only person not related to me, working with me or stalking me from Georgia that reads my blog. So here it goes;

Lindsey tells me I have to list 10 honest things about myself (who is going to really know if I’m being honest?) and then tag 7 more people – she only tagged three and then basically gave us the bird, so I don’t feel so compelled to tag all seven – which would mean I would have to tag some strangers, and who needs that nightmare!

1. I quit smoking for about 5 hours. I am weak – so weak.



2. I am a huge procrastinator! I will almost always wait until the very last minute – I work well under pressure!



3. I got my iPhone, I really love him and now I just need to name him. Any ideas?



4. I love the smell of my own hair. Usually I keep my hair really short, so the option of smelling my own hair isn’t there. Now that it’s longer, I love it when I take off my stocking cap and get a whiff of my own hair!!



5. My Christmas tree is still up. Don’t judge me! I have had every intention the last few weeks to take it down, but the task is just so damn daunting!! This weekend is the weekend!



6. I think I may actually be closer to 5 foot 1, but I like saying I’m 5 foot nothin’!



7. I have stinky feet – really stinky feet! I hate to wear socks, so my feet stink – badly.



8. When I was a kid, I made my twin-sister wear two pair of underwear for about a month. I hated wearing undies and our grandma would count how many were in the wash that week.



9. My family does not sit at the kitchen table to eat dinner – and I hate it! I have vowed to make us start eating at the table.



10. I’m a mean mom. I won’t buy clothes or shoes or anything with cartoon characters on them – Disney and Nickelodeon do not send me a marketing check every month. When I buy toys, I try to buy unique toys. I love my daughter’s newest: Steve Nufflebunny.







For more truths, see my very first post here.

Tag! You're it!

Johnners

THE NEAVES FAMILY

Newly Wed, Newly Bred!

My Secret Love Affair (from afar)

It’s obvious (but I’ll point it out anyway) that Catholics invented the term “Guilty Pleasures”. Unless you’re a real freak (and I know some of you reading this are…you know who you are too) how can a pleasure be measured in terms of culpability? It just seems to be a bit harsh for something so trivial. None the less, my recent longing (and craving for a candy bar 10 minutes ago) has brought this diabolical issue to the forefront of my mind.

Let’s get beyond the Ho-Hos and Frappacinos and the like. If you feel the need to sneak food, then I feel sorry for you – not in a way that suggests pity or disgust, but in a true sincere way. It’s food, it’s yummy – live it up and (in the words of one of my favorite comedians and fellow red head) tell the world to suck it – literally!

What if your guilty pleasure costs more than $0.65 in a vending machine or $4.35 at a drive-through? What would the Guilty Pleasure Committee have to say about that? Having been raised Catholic (really I only know enough to have polite conversation and feel guilty), I’m sure they would through that under the gluttony banner and damn me for all eternity. Is my little must-have really worth that? You bet your mass-missing ass it is!

Here it is the small little thing I have been lusting (damn – another sin) after for the last 25 days:

I know it’s been 25 days be cause I have a 30 day return policy on the fine, but not lust-worthy phone I did buy, thus a timeline on which I must act before my dream is crushed. A new phone was my Christmas present from hubby – and as noted earlier, I picked it out, went and bought it myself. I immediately regretted my decision, but said nothing, and was actually rather happy with new phone. Hubby at one point actually said I should go back and get the other one (I don’t think he actually thought it was possible – just threw it out there to be nice). Being the good and obedient wife I am (did you hear that Catholics?) I tried to put the object of my affection out of mind.

Oh, but I couldn’t. I tried, but I can’t control my dreams. I actually dreamt about the entire exchange process and later spinning in a field of flowers with my new iPhone (I’m just not sure why Tiny Tim was there).

Why am I dreaming of this miraculous device? Why don’t I just go get it? Hubby said it was stoooopid and we didn’t need to spend the extra $120 (OK, clarification: he didn’t say stoooopid and really it’s only $20 because I haven’t sent in the $100 rebate on the first phone yet.) This just goes to show he was just being nice before when he threw out I could exchange my phone.

Last weekend while waiting for a movie, I took hubby into the Apple store – all clean, straight lines and adorned with employees who probably normally aren’t that geeky, but throw them into baby blue t-shirts (1 size too small) and an iPod on a rope around their neck and holy-geek-o-meter! I showed hubby the iPhone and expressed how coooool it was, and then five minutes later declared we should leave before I do something drastic. Really that was just another attempt to express my longing for an iPhone.

So that is my guilty pleasure – my lust of a phone. The day dreams, the fantasies. Do I resist the urge and be happy with what I have, or do I rebel against good sense and go for my dreams?

I need your help! Do you go with hubby who says I should stick with my current phone, or me who says "iPhone, iPhone, iPhone!"

Current Score:

Hubby: 1

Me: 5 (me, two people from tech, a buyer, and Tiny Tim)

So, five days and counting…

A New Year; Another Failed Resolution

We are doomed to fail yet again; I’m certain of it. We set ourselves up to fail, so really it’s our own fault. Somewhere in history a group of people got together and decided there is one day in which we must chose a goal and then agonize in every attempt to achieve it within the next 365 days. Yep, it’s the ill-fated New Year’s Resolution. Gym member ships soar, television shopping networks air specials on treadmills, Pilates torture machines, diet food, and daily vitamin packs. Do you see a theme here?? Yep, most of us resolve to lose weight or become healthier in this new year. That makes sense since most of us are overweight.

Losing weight and getting fit was my resolution last year, and the year before that and two years before that (that year in between, my resolution was to be nicer – that one obviously failed too!) Well, here I am a year later and still hanging onto the same 15-20 pounds. I’ve been to the gym (a few times) and I try to eat healthy (ketchup is from the tomato and chocolate is a bean), but I’ve just never made it matter enough. I have found that by making weight loss my resolution, I fail. So I resolve not to lose weight or get fit – did you hear that Baby New Year in your little diaper and sash? Go ahead make me fail once again!

After having a rather scary experience in the emergency room on New Year’s Eve day, I am going to make an honest effort to make health and fitness a priority for my family. Luckily, hubby’s heart didn’t explode, and we should know more after he has a stress test about the causes of his chest pain and other heart attack symptoms. Regardless, it made me realize that I’m not young enough or cute enough anymore to get a good second husband. Really, I’m not. If DH keels over now, I’m looking at the manager of a tire store or the sanitation guy – not good prospects. So in an effort to stave off any second husband nightmares, I need to make sure my little family will be around for a long time.

Don’t get me wrong – there is a box of brownie mix I most certainly intend on whipping up sometime this week, but I’ll share them (maybe). My family has no worries of being thrown into a meatless, carbless, jumping jack crazed life. That’s just not me. My style is more along the lines of suggesting we get Wii – I hear the Wii Fit is a really good workout. (Or having DH shovel the walk.) I will admit to secretly substituting ground turkey for ground beef and pouring Diet Sunkist into hubby’s Sunkist bottle. Maybe I’ll take my friend’s advice and throw flax seed into everything. Then again, maybe not.

Maybe I’ll just resolve to be happy as a chubby person. But if I do lose a bit of weight, get some rock’n’ abs, and a tighter tush, the second husband store offers a much better selection. Good thing for hubby, my motivation isn’t what it used to be, and good thing for me – he’s actually a really great guy!

‘till next time, I’ll be suckin’ it in and wearing more spandex than Olivia Newton John in the ‘80s!

Post Christmas Run Down

If you read my previous blog about Christmas, you have some insight to my thoughts on the holiday and what’s really important. Don’t let that fool you, however. I do have a keen affection for gifts (who doesn’t…just a little bit?) Seeing a box with my name on it transforms me into a giggling little girl! The excitement of a new widget just for me is exhilarating! I will shake it, measure it, look for any gaps in the pretty wrapping paper, and when I was younger, I was known to actually unwrap a gift and rewrap it! I’m not good with surprises – I have to know – everything!

My husband says I am terrible to shop for – and he’s right. I have very specific (and few) wants. Several weeks ago, I sent him a picture of the Blackberry Curve, telling him I wanted it for Christmas. He said OK. Woo-Hoo! So that Friday, I went to the store and bought one. I loved it. It was so cute and functional! That was my gift from hubby – no surprise (that’s good in the beginning, but a let down come Christmas morning.) That story is to be continued…

This year, hubs and I took A-Cat shopping. She needed to get me a gift with hubs and I had some last minute things to grab. I had told hubs I needed new cookie sheets the day before. That afternoon at lunch (pre-shopping), I made mention to how much I miss my Uggs. I even went on to tell the two of them what size I wore in everything from sweaters to jeans to bras to boots (I added in the sweaters, jeans and bras so I wasn’t too obvious). Well, my not-so-subtle hint went unheard. They bought me the cookie sheets. Not bad – very nice, but now I’m expected to make more cookies. Here’s the kicker: That night after A-Cat went to bed, I spent hours locked in the bedroom wrapping all the Christmas gifts. Hubs came in and asked… here it comes… he asked me to wrap the cookie sheets that were to be my gift. Let’s just say it was a Christmas miracle that there was not an impression of his dear little face in those cookie sheets when I opened them Christmas Morning. I must be fair and mention that after all the gifts were opened that morning, hubs said, “Wait! There’s one more – over there!” A-Cat grabbed a small box and with gleaming eyes handed it to me. I immediately recognized the unwrapped box as one from a local jewelry store. It was finally there – the excitement of being a kid again! I opened the box and inside was a beautiful heart-shaped silver locket. Yea for me! What’s better than a gift – one that you love and was actually picked out by your kid!

A-Cat was thrilled that Santa brought her a Cabbage Patch Kid – one with red hair and blue eyes none the less. We were just thrilled that Santa didn’t bring anything that needed to be assembled! She wasn’t thrilled, however with the name – Inell. She quickly changed Inell to Jessica. I was thrilled to once again smell that baby-powder scent those cute things give off!

Later that morning we went to my Dad’s and spent a couple hours there. We left with some very nice gifts (including a trip to Disney World!!!) and a few Wii injuries. On the way home we realized we had no food at home and of course there wasn’t a store open (I did mention we could go to a movie and eat there, but hubs wasn’t up for it!). Luckily, our handy-dandy standby of Walgreen's was open and stocked with frozen pizzas!

Overall, we had a very nice Christmas, but I must admit, I am so glad it is over. Now, the chore is getting the tree down and ornaments put away. Once again, my post-Christmas resolution is that I will plan better and start earlier next year!

Sorry for the ever-so-boring run-down of my ever-so-boring Christmas. Maybe next year with all my early planning and preparations, the post-Christmas blog will be a bit more exciting. But then again, I doubt it!

A-Cat fell asleep amidst the chaos of 20+ people Christmas Eve! She was makin' sure Santa was comin'!

A Christmas Wish

I've been on a bit of a hiatus. Sorry if you (Lindsey) missed me. Today is Christmas Eve and I am sitting at work. Bah-Humbug! I am a nice boss and will be letting my peeps head home early so they can enjoy some eggnog and dream of sugar plums as they wait to see which of Santa’s list they fell on this year. I’m sure it’s a toss-up for me at this point (hence letting the peeps go home early!)

Christmas is a double-edged sword for many of us. Memories of the holiday when we were children and all the magic it entailed; the time we spent with siblings and cousins in the freezing snow making forts and snowmen and drinking hot cocoa flood our minds. I really have no memory of when that magic transitioned into a frenzy of gift buying, budgeting, debt-inducing, free-for-all with family feuds and a general unpleasantness. I do, however, remember writing a column at the newspaper in college titled “Merry Frickin’ Christmas”. But really, the magic was still there for me – that was just an observation (maybe my first) of the commercial madness that ensued each year during the holiday. Maybe not being able to pinpoint that moment of transition is a good thing – maybe it means some of the magic is still there! Or maybe, my moment was little less traumatic than the rest.

I work in retail, so Christmas is the time of year when days-off are few and eight hour days are simply unheard of. I leave for work when it is dark and leave for home at the end of the day when it is once again dark. If it weren’t for the few smoke breaks in between, I would go several months without seeing daylight. I am lucky to have a great team that works hard to make the impossible possible in our business, so the hours are worth it - professionally. I’m unlucky that by the time I get home, I am so exhausted it is a true effort to get a decent dinner on the table and read a bed-time story to A-Cat (good thing she is now a fluent reader and very self-sufficient). The complete frenzy of my professional life during this time of year is difficult to balance with my desire to be Super-Mom and Uber-Wife (my super hero capes are currently collecting dust in the closet…sad, I know.) Not a gift was wrapped until late last night. The tree has only been up for a week. Work is my magic killer.

Trying to revive the magic is a difficult feat, but it’s time to dust off my capes and make it happen. This year it is just may be easier than I think…thanks to one small, but might red-head. In the past I have cursed television commercial filled with whorish dolls and ridiculous toys that are nothing but crap that plead to my young daughter’s natural sense of desire. Last year, the big toy was Buttercup the horse. Have you seen this thing? It is a giant stuffed animal that moves and neighs. And it can be under your tree for a few hundred dollars! Oh how A-Cat wanted it; she dreamed of it. Then one day, in my not-so-subtle approach, I told her those parents who buy Buttercup just don’t love their kids as much I love her. I love her so much that I don’t need to spend a bunch of money to prove it to her – she gets small meaningful gifts that are tokens of my love and it is the hugs and time together that prove my love. (Sorry if you bought this horse for your kids and are now offended that I somehow think you don’t love your kids…get over it, it was an explanation to a five year old.) She was satisfied with that answer and was pleased as punch to see that Santa delivered an art desk that year (Hey Santa – next time, please deliver only assembled items tonight. I don’t have it in me to assemble 4000 small plastic pieces 10 screws and holes that don’t line up tonight. There’s an extra cookie in for you!)

This year A-Cat came and asked, “Mommy, do you know what I want for Christmas this year?” “Hmmm…what god-awful toy was just advertised on TV,” I thought with annoyance. “I want my family to have the best Christmas ever,” she said in a small whisper. My heart melted. Here I saw a little kid who dreams of getting stuff, stuff, stuff, and more stuff. When really, all she wanted was the magic, and not for herself, but for her whole family. Here a six year old gets it – she really gets it. Now don’t be fooled, she also wants the occasional toy she sees, but the requests are few and quite.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

They are biting for toys, throwing fits in the store and manipulating those they love just to come out ahead (oh and these are the adults). Me, me, me – ‘tis the theme of the season. Frankly, I’m tired of it. I have one message for those of you that just won’t have a Merry Christmas if you don’t get your Coach bag or your 42 inch flat screen television or the big diamond you’ve been waiting for: Christmas isn’t about you. Christmas is about family and friends and good food and stories and togetherness. It isn’t about the gifts you receive, or even the gifts you give. Christmas isn't about what ends up in your stocking (my husband grew up getting fruit in his – no wonder he hates Christmas!) Christmas is the time for us grown-ups to create the magic for the children and maybe, just maybe believe in it again ourselves.

So, in joining the magical spirit of my A-Cat, my Christmas wish is that all of us and our families have the best Christmas ever! Merry Christmas!

A-Cat telling Santa her Christmas wish